Never Alone Read online

  I awoke from one of these brief, restless naps with a start. My eyes were immediately drawn to the wrinkled face of an old woman sitting on a chair diagonally across from me. She was intent on the knitting she held in her lap. Her gnarled, age-spotted hands worked diligently with the soft yarn and needles, creating a beautiful scarf. I'd seen her face in my dreams just moments before. I knew more about her than I wanted to know. She was dying. Her body was full of cancer. I wondered if she knew.

  As if she sensed me watching her, she looked up, and her pale blue eyes found mine. She looked at me for a few seconds, then gave me a small smile. She knew. I smiled back.

  “Ms. Snyder?” someone said. I turned to find a distinguished looking middle-aged man in a white coat. His black hair and dark complexion bespoke his Indian heritage-Indian as in from India, though, not Native American. “I'm Dr. Sahni. I'm a cardiologist and I've been running the tests on your father.”

  “How is he?” Lily asked.

  “He's going to be fine. It seems he experienced a mild heart attack, but there doesn't appear to be any permanent damage.”

  “Oh thank God,” she breathed. I released a breath I hadn't even known I'd been holding.

  “However, he will have to change some of his habits. You're tired right now, though, and we can talk about that later. He's stable for the night, but you can go in and see him briefly. After that, why don't you go on home for tonight? You both need your rest.”

  “Is it all right if my nephew comes in with me?” she asked, gesturing towards me.

  The doctor nodded, noticing me for the first time. “Just keep it brief. When you get here in the morning, just ask the nurses at the station to let me know, and I'll come explain everything to both of you at the same time.”

  Lily thanked him and stood up. He told us what room they'd moved Fletcher into and pointed us in the direction of the elevators.

  As we rode the elevator up to Fletcher's floor, I took a good look at Lily. Her relief was visible, but she suddenly looked very tired and worn, as if the adrenaline that had been keeping her going had suddenly run out.

  “You were really worried,” I said. I sounded more accusatory than I'd intended.

  She gave me a tired smile. “He's old, Jacy. I forget that sometimes. He seems so strong. You haven't known him long enough to understand what I mean, but this was kind of a rude awakening for me. Seeing him like that...”

  “You thought he was invincible?”

  She gave me a surprised look as the doors slid open. She didn't answer, just stepped out and led the way down the hall. A nurse stopped us with an offer to help that was really just a polite way of making sure we belonged here on this floor. Lily told her what room we were looking for and what Dr. Sahni had told us, and she showed us to his door.

  As we stepped into the room I realized I was holding my breath. I didn't know what to expect. What would Fletcher look like? What kinds of tests had they done? Would he have machines hooked up to him like they always did on TV? I trailed behind Lily, who didn't hesitate a second.

  Fletcher was lying in the twin to the bed I'd woken up in earlier. They'd given him a private room so his was the only bed there. A blanket was pulled up to his chest; his arms lay at his side. His eyes were closed and his pale face was expressionless. His long white hair was splayed out on the pillow as if it had been arranged. If not for the steady rise and fall of his chest, he could have been dead. I shuddered at that thought. There were other signs that he was alive. An IV fed into his hand and some wires trailed out from under his hospital gown and attached to what I recognized as a heart monitor. A reassuring zigzag made its way across the screen.

  Lily walked to the side of his bed and laid her hand lightly on his. His eyes opened immediately at her touch. He smiled up at her, then searched the room until he found me. How did he even know I was here? I wondered, but then decided that maybe he wasn't actually looking for me, but was just checking to see if anyone else was in the room.

  “I didn't mean to wake you,” Lily said in a hushed voice.

  “You didn't,” he said. His voice sounded a little weak, but stronger than I had expected. “I was waiting for you and Jacy.” So he did know, I thought with surprise.

  “Well, we're here now, but we can't stay long-doctor's orders. We'll be back tomorrow though. Dr. Sahni said he'd explain everything then. I'm just so glad...” Lily's voice caught and she stopped in mid sentence.

  “The old man's here for a little longer, Lily,” he said and squeezed her hand. “So stop worrying. I still have some things left to do yet. Right, Jacy?”

  I blinked in surprise. Why was he asking me?

  “Now you two get going and get some rest. It's late and if I know my daughter at all, she'll want to be here as soon as visiting hours begin.”

  Lily grinned. “You know me too well.” She leaned down and tenderly kissed his forehead. “See you in the morning.”

  “See you then,” he said. He turned to me and winked. “You too, Gray Owl.”

  The name sparked a vague memory of a dream I'd had while I was unconscious. At least, I thought it was a dream. Once in the elevator, Lily turned to me with a curious expression.

  “What was that about?” she asked.

  “What do you mean?” I responded, knowing full well what she was asking about.

  “Gray Owl?”

  I shrugged. “I'm not sure.”

  She gave me a look that clearly said I knew more than I was saying, but she was letting it go.

  I slept in one of Lily's spare bedroom that night. Or maybe I should say I stayed in one of her spare bedrooms, since I didn't do much sleeping. Elmo kept me company, but the super sized dog weighed more than I did and took up more than his share of the bed. Still, I wasn't complaining. It was nice to have some company even if it was of the canine variety. It was strange being away from home and my familiar surroundings, knowing I wouldn't be going back. If that wasn't enough to keep me awake, I had more than enough to think about. Between my epiphany in church, kissing Skye, my spontaneous outing of myself to my family, Fletcher's heart attack, and my strange dream, my poor brain didn't know what to settle on first. It was a long night.

  The next morning, I drank several cups of coffee before we left for the hospital, even though I usually never touch the stuff. Lily raised an eyebrow as I dumped cream and sugar into my fourth cup in an effort to disguise the taste.

  “Why bother?” she asked, taking another sip from her mug. She took hers black.

  “I didn't sleep much,” I told her.

  She nodded. “That's understandable considering the circumstances. I didn't sleep well myself. Did Elmo snore?”

  “A little,” I said, looking down to where he lay on the floor, his recently emptied food dish between his paws. He looked up at us as if he knew we were talking about him. “But it was nice to have him there anyway.”

  “He's taken a liking to you. Not to say the big lug doesn't like everybody, but I've never seen him take to anyone the way he has to you. I think last night was the first time he's ever not spent the night in my bed with me.”

  I smiled sardonically. At least somebody wants to be with me. Take that, Skye.

  “We'd better get going,” Lily said after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

  I glanced at the clock on the wall. “Visiting hours won't start for an hour. It takes less than half an hour to get there. What are we going to do for half an hour?”

  She just gave me a look, and I gave in without further argument.

  We stopped in the gift shop on our way up to his room and picked up a crossword book and a few magazines. “If he has to stay here any length of time he's going to be bored out of his skull,” Lily commented.

  Once on his floor, the nurses at the station were nice enough to let us in a little early after checking to make sure he was ready to receive visitors. Lily sent word with one of the nurses to let Dr. Sahni know we were there.

  Fletcher looked much bet
ter this morning. Much of his color was back, and he seemed to be in high spirits. We chatted while we waited for the doctor. Lily told him that I'd moved out of my parents' and was staying with her. He didn't seem surprised in the least.

  We didn't have to wait too long before the doctor joined us. He quickly explained what had happened to Fletcher, using layman's terms so we could easily understand. He'd had a mild heart attack brought on by high blood pressure and high cholesterol.

  “You're going to need to change some of your eating habits,” he told Fletcher. “You need to watch your salt intake, and we're also going to put you on some medications that should help lower you blood pressure and cholesterol levels.”

  “Can we look into natural herbal treatments?” Fletcher asked. Dr. Sahni looked surprised, so Fletcher explained. “I'm an herbalist.”

  The doctor nodded. “We can certainly look into that if you're strongly opposed to using pharmaceuticals. I'm not one of those doctors who pooh-poohs alternative medicine. As an herbalist, however, I would expect you to understand the importance of eating the right kinds of food. You also need to be checked more regularly. According to your charts, you haven't seen a doctor in almost five years.”

  “Haven't needed to up till now,” he responded with a twinkle in his eye.

  “If you had, maybe we could have prevented this heart attack,” Dr. Sahni replied sternly. “It's nothing to joke around with. Heart disease is the leading cause of death among Native Americans. Consider this episode your warning. Your body is telling you to start taking care of it, or it won't hold up forever.”

  Fletcher nodded a little more seriously. “You're right. I understand that I need to start taking more care of myself. I spend so much time looking after the welfare of others that I tend to neglect myself.”

  “Unfortunately, that's a common problem among healers.” I was impressed that Dr Sahni seemed to be giving Fletcher the consideration of an equal. The doctor continued, “You also need to quit smoking.” I hadn't even known he smoked.

  Fletcher's eyes narrowed at this. “Tobacco is considered sacred to my people.”

  “Yes, but cigarettes contain over 599 other additives, many of which are harmful, and none of which, to my knowledge, are sacred to your people.”

  Fletcher grinned. “You've got me there. How about if we compromise? I'll give up cigarettes but I can still smoke tobacco in rituals.”

  Dr. Sahni grinned. “I'll accept that deal on one condition.”

  “What's that?”

  “That you don't suddenly start having to perform `rituals' several times a day.”

  Fletcher laughed out loud and held out his hand, which the doctor shook. “I like you, Dr. Sahni,” he said.

  “Likewise, Mr. Snyder, but you might want to withhold judgment until I'm finished. I have one more recommendation to make, and you might not like me so much after this one.” He paused, for effect more than anything. “I don't want you living alone any longer.”

  I think we all expected Fletcher to put up a fight on this one, but he surprised us all by winking coyly at the doctor. “Why Dr. Sahni, we've only just met and you already want to move in?”

  For a moment, we were all completely caught off guard. Then I broke the silence with a snort of laughter. Dr. Sahni and Lily quickly joined in, and finally Fletcher gave up his little act and laughed along with us.

  Once the laughter had died down, Dr. Sahni became serious again. “You really shouldn't be living alone. The next time you may not be able to get to the phone to call your daughter. You need someone who can be there to keep an eye on you.”

  “I understand what you're saying, Doctor, but I don't have anyone, and I can't afford, nor do I want, a live-in nurse.”

  “You're not that bad off yet that you need round-the-clock attention. What about your children?”

  “They all have families and careers of their own. They don't need to be burdened with an old man.”

  “You wouldn't be a burden,” Lily inserted. “You can stay with me. I have plenty of room at my house.”

  “I have my herbal business to run,” Fletcher insisted stubbornly. “And I don't want to leave my home. You certainly can't leave yours. You have your studio all set up there.”

  “I could live with Fletcher,” I said suddenly, and everyone turned to look at me. “What?” I asked, trying not to blush under all the attention.

  “I don't know, Jacy,” Lily began. “No offense, but I don't know if having a sixteen year old in the house is exactly what the doctor ordered. And you'd be in school all day so it would almost defeat the purpose. And...”

  While Lily was talking, Fletcher watched me with an inscrutable Mona Lisa smile set on his lips. When she paused to take a breath, he quickly stepped in. “And,” he interrupted smoothly, “I think it's the perfect solution.”

  “I think I'll leave you to work out the details in private,” Dr. Sahni said quickly, before Lily could respond. “I have some other patients to attend to, but I'll try to drop in later this morning to check on you, Mr. Snyder.”

  We all said good-bye and thanked him for taking the time to talk to us. Once he was gone, Lily picked up where we'd left off. “Are you sure that's a good idea, Fletcher? It's been a long time since you've had a kid in the house.” It was her polite way of pointing out that Fletcher had not raised any of his children. He'd left Grandma Allen when his kids were still pretty young. Fletcher, of course, knew exactly what she meant.

  “No, I've never lived with a teenager,” he said good-naturedly, “but I've been around enough to know what I'd be getting myself into. Besides, Jacy seems like an above-average example of the species. More importantly, however, I have a lot to teach him. That could be done if he was living somewhere else, but it will be a lot easier on both of us if we're under the same roof.”

  “You could just move in with me. I have so much room...”

  “Lily, you're a beautiful young woman. Don't you think having an old man and a teenage boy in the house might put a crimp in your love life?”

  Lily blushed slightly. “What love life? There's nothing to crimp.”

  “And there certainly wouldn't be if we both moved in with you. I appreciate the offer, but I think Jacy's idea makes the most sense.”

  Lily shook her head, but we all knew the decision had been made. They were both obstinate people, but in a battle of wills, it was clear that Fletcher would win. She turned to me. “Are you sure you're up for this, Jacy?”

  I nodded. It felt right somehow, as if this was what I'd been working towards for the last few weeks...or maybe all my life.

  “Then it's decided,” Fletcher said with a triumphant grin. “Jacy can move in with me as soon as they free me from this damn hospital.” I couldn't help grinning back at him. Lily shook her head again, but even her lips were twitching as she watched the two of us grinning at each other like idiots.

  “At least you won't be alone,” she said.

  “No, never alone,” Fletcher agreed.

  Finis